Divorce and children

The effects of divorce on children can be harsh. To strengthen the relationship with your children and to make separation less painful, it is important to discuss the divorce with your kids and explain them what is involved. This is an important step to take if you want them to maintain their trust in you.

Minimizing the conflict

To minimize the damaging effects of a divorce on children it's crucial to minimize the conflict between the parents. The younger the children, the more cooperation between the parents is going to be necessary. For the children to grow and develop normal, reassurance and approval is needed from both of the parents. Living under the same roof can be beneficial for the children but parents need to make sure they remember the main rule, minimizing the conflict.

Helping children adjust to divorce

Another way to minimize the effects of divorce on children is to make sure they feel loved and valued. Having both their parents involved in their every day life is the path to achieve it. If one of the parents is not living close by anymore it's still not hard to keep in touch with the kids through e-mails, phone, video conferences, etc. When going through a divorce it's a good thing to keep the children in the same area/neighborhood and school. Having their friends close to them will help them cope better.

It's also important to talk to your children about your concerns related to the divorce. This will help them understand what is happening. Make sure you don't put to much pressure on your children when it comes to your need of companionship and affection. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children.

All the answers and information you need about the process of divorce and coping with it it's right here.

The effects of divorce on children

When it comes to a divorce, the main concern for the families that have kids is what are the effects of divorce on children. A lot of studies have been conducted on this subject and they all concluded that the younger the children are the easier it is for them to adapt.

Age of the children

There are four age groups that been identified in those studies. Not a lot is known about the effects of divorce on children younger then three years. They constitute the infants category. Infants don't understand the concept of conflict and they mostly react to the energies that surround them. They are not affected when a divorce occurs, but breaking the bound with one of the parents can have an effect on them. It is important to keep a positive attitude in their presence and avoid arguments in front of the kids. Also having the parents to agree on visitation rights and avoid conflict at all times can help with minimizing the effects of divorce on children.

Effects of divorce on preschool children

When it comes to a divorce, the main issue with preschool children is that they tend to take the blame on themselves. The effects of divorce on children can lead to them being uncooperative, depressed or angry. They often consider minor incidents like not cleaning their room or not finishing their food to be the cause of one of their parents leaving. Loosing one of the parents can lead to a sense of insecurity or abandoned and can cause them to become disobedient or aggressive.

Effects of divorce on school-aged children

The studies conducted on the effects of divorce on children concluded that the school aged children are the most affected during a divorce. They are old enough to understand that the pain they are feeling is caused by their parents separation. The main emotions that might surface are grief, embarrassment, resentment, divided loyalty and intense anger. This specific age group is the hardest to deal with.

Adolescents and the effects of divorce

The general response to a divorce from an adolescent is the feeling of overburden. They feel like they need to take responsibility for many new chores and that adulthood is being imposed on them to soon. The effects if a divorce on adolescents can lead to feelings like anger, fear, loneliness, depression and guilt. They might also start to doubt their ability to get into a serious relationship or stay married.

Their ability to remember the conflict and stress of the divorce may interfere with their ability to cope with the changes in their family. This can lead to use of drugs or alcohol, rebelling against their custodians and other erratic behaviors.